Divorce can be one of the hardest decisions a parent can face. Whilst every situation is different, the process of divorce can bring significant challenges, both practically and emotionally, for parents and their children.
Associate at law firm Slater and Gordon Rebecca Cliff provides her guidance to parents who may be considering divorce or are currently navigating the process, and who are concerned about the impact a divorce can have on their children.
She said: "One of the most important things a parent should keep in mind throughout the divorce process is that their children remain at the centre of every decision made. Whilst your relationship might change, your responsibility as a parent must include continuing to have your children’s best interests at heart, including their happiness and wellbeing.
"As a parent myself, I understand how worrying this period can feel. However, children are often stronger and more resilient than parents may realise. Despite the hardships, your child will be okay, especially if they are well supported."
Open communication
"Open communication is one of the most important roles as parent when navigating a divorce. Honest, appropriate conversations not only reduce any feelings of uncertainty, but builds trust between you and your ex-partner that you can continue your roles as parents, even outside of your relationship.
"One of the earliest moments requiring an open dialogue between yourselves and your children is helping your children understand what is happening around them. Children benefit from a simple explanation about the changes that are happening. Without this, they can raise questions, feel confused or worries can build.
"Where possible, parents should work together to explain the situation, without blame, tension or conflict. Children should be provided with reassurance that their parents will still be there to love and care for them, providing a sense of stability during this time of change."
"They may ask questions, which may be difficult to answer, but keeping the conversation open helps your children process the situation."
Reassurance
"Through the divorce process, this can create a great deal of uncertainty for children. They may feel anxious about what's going to happen, how it will affect them, or they even may feel that the separation is their fault.
"Reassurance goes a long way in helping children through this time. Consistent reassurance and regular reminders that they are loved, supported and cared for can alleviate any feelings of worry.
"When both parents are providing this, children can continue to feel supported and a sense of security."
Active listening
"Children may be filled with a whole array of emotions during this period, just as parents may also be. Parents have a responsibility to be a soundboard and create an environment when children can feel comfortable expressing their emotions.
"At times, children may not communicate or may feel unsure how they are feeling and, with change, children may need time to process what is happening. Creating opportunities, such as through simply asking how they feel, building a supportive environment or spending quality time together, can help parents keep an eye on when their children may need support or validation for how they are feeling.
"This provides children with a reminder that both parents are here to listen if they have any questions or concerns."
Keeping routine
"Divorce comes with various transitions which can impact you, your children and your family. However, not everything needs to change.
"Keeping a familiar routine can help lessen the impact of change and enable children to feel security during such a period of stress, anxiety and uncertainty.
"For example, continuing any hobbies or weekly activities, bedtimes and school morning routines can maintain a sense of normality and minimise any further unnecessary change.
"Keeping a routine can parents build a co-parenting plan, helping them establish a structure that works for everyone involved, while minimising disruption. Remember, children are at the centre of these arrangements."
Avoid tension and disagreement
"No matter how hard the divorce gets, parents must shield children from being exposed to any stress or anxiety due to disagreements.
"Whilst separation can be emotionally challenging, children shouldn't be caught in the middle of any disagreements in case they cause children to experience a sense of uncertainty, carry heavy emotions or feel a responsibility to get involved in resolving issues.
"Parents should work together keep discussions constructive and away from children. They do not deserve to be caught in the middle, nor affected by it.
"Divorcing parents shouldn't have to face this alone. It is important to have a supportive network built of family, friends and peers to provide guidance and emotional support during difficult periods."
Moving forward
"Every family dynamic is different and every approach to divorce has its unique challenges. However, by prioritising open communication, reassurance and stability can help children adapt more comfortably to change."
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
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