WELCOME TO THE AIRPORT. THE COFFEE'S COLD, YOUR LUGGAGE IS ELUSIVE, OH—AND GUESS WHAT? —YOUR FLIGHT'S JUST BEEN DELAYED!
HOUR 1 (13:25)
But that's okay. You have a new grandchild and it's just one short flight between you and those milk-drunk snuggles. On a day like today, even the stern security agent gets your brightest smile. He was once a baby too; you hold this truth in your heart as he scolds you for not removing your laptop.
HOUR 3 (15:25)
Pick up a cute little onesie at the gift shop (and some peanuts! A key chain! Postcards for everyone you know!) Commemorate this beautiful day because no matter whether you're grounded or airborne, there's a new little bundle of joy in the world and everyone agrees they have your eyes.
HOUR 5 (17:25)
Another delay. Why not exchange that onesie for one the next size up? It'll fit the baby by the time you arrive.
HOUR 9 (21:25)
The flight's been canceled but you see the silver lining. From now on everything that happens to you can be repurposed as a life lesson for your grandchild. Imagine balancing them on your lap and saying, "Back in my day, a sandwich at the airport cost only $30." Your grandchild who, by the way, will have teeth by the time you get your new itinerary.
HOUR 10 (22:25)
Good news, you've got a new flight, departing from a terminal on the other side of the airport. It's far but you'll need to be limber to keep up with your grandchild. They'll be walking by the time you land.
HOUR 12 (00:25)
Did you really redeem your points for this? Demand to speak to an airline representative. When they emerge, inundate them with pictures: your grandchild's first haircut, first day of kindergarten, first in-school suspension. Everything you've missed while stuck at the airport.
HOUR 18 (06:25)
Your phone rings, snapping you awake inside the luggage fort you've constructed at gate 87. Is it the airline calling to tell you your seat is ready? No, the voice that greets you is your grandchild's. They're a teenager now, with a youthful disposition that reminds you of yourself when you first got to the airport. "Hey, where have you been?" they ask. "Do you need me to come pick you up?"
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