As we reflect on VE Day, it is natural to look back on the end of one of the most difficult periods in global history, and to celebrate the rebuilding and renewal that followed. While VE Day is a time of remembrance and gratitude, it also offers powerful insights for those going through personal battles closer to home, particularly the emotional and practical challenges of divorce.
In this article, Tina Day, Senior Associate in our Family Law team, explores what WWII can teach us about approaching separation with resilience, compassion and purpose. If you are facing a divorce, feeling overwhelmed, or you are unsure how to move forward, these lessons from history may offer a surprising sense of clarity, helping you handle the conflict in a healthy and constructive approach.
Divorce and conflict
Let's face it... divorce can feel like war. It is emotionally charged, sometimes chaotic, and often leaves lasting scars. Just like the world did after WWII, what matters most is how you rebuild, how you process the damage, repair relationships where possible, and protect what still matters.
1. Know what you are fighting for
In WWII, the Allied forces had a clear goal: to stop oppression and restore long-term peace. Without that, the war could have dragged on indefinitely.
In divorce, having clarity of your end goals is just as vital, whether it is fair arrangements for your children, financial security or emotional peace. Our Family Law Solicitors are here to help you identify these goals early as, without this focus, it is easy to get lost in petty battles and unnecessary legal drama. It is important to keep your long-term goals front of mind, not just the short-term wins.
2. Don't burn everything down
After WW1, Germany was left in ruins, both economically and emotionally. That led to resentment and, eventually, WWII. The approach was then different; instead of punishment, the Allies invested in rebuilding, resulting in decades of peace in Europe.
Similarly, in divorce, revenge is rarely worth the cost. While it might feel justified in the moment, hostility can prolong the process, harm children emotionally, and drain financial resources.
Instead, to choose a mindset of repair over destruction, we would encourage you to focus on:
- Fair outcomes, not punishment
- Minimising emotional fallout
- Preserving key relationships (especially with children)
One of the most effective ways to support this mindset is through Family Mediation. This process allows both parties to work with a Mediator in a calm and confidential setting, where you can discuss key issues including finances, property and child arrangements. Mediation encourages cooperation and empowers both parties to find solutions.
3. Use diplomacy whenever you can
One of the greatest takeaways from WWII was the value of diplomacy. The United Nations was created to prevent future wars through dialogue and mediation.
In divorce, approaches such as Mediation and Collaborative Law offer alternatives to expensive Court battles. While Mediation focuses on facilitated discussions, collaborative law brings both parties and their legal teams together to work transparently towards an agreement. These forms of Non-Court Dispute Resolution offer several benefits to both sides, including:
- Promoting respectful and calm communication
- A faster and more cost effective solution
- Allowing for greater control over the outcome
4. Think beyond the War
After WWII, enemies became allies, learning to work together to ensure peace and to build something better.
Divorcing couples, especially those with children involved, need to do the same. Although you may no longer be married, you will still be co-parenting, sharing milestones, and going through life's changes together. Establishing a civil, respectful relationship post-divorce can significantly benefit everyone involved but especially your children's emotional wellbeing and sense of security. In many cases, a Child Arrangement Order can help formalise key decisions about where the child or children will live, how much time they'll spend with each parent, and how day-to-day responsibilities are shared. It helps to provide clarity and stability for everyone involved.
Even without children involved, you may still have shared financial responsibilities or social ties that benefit from a civil post-divorce relationship.
5. Accept the loss and then rebuild
War changes everything, and so does divorce. It is normal to grieve that part of your life; healing begins with acceptance and the decision to move forward. Your new life may not be what you imagined, but that does not mean it won't be meaningful, joyful, or fulfilling.
Divorce can feel like the end of the world. However, just like in WWII, the most important chapter is the one that comes after. Choosing the right legal and emotional support will help you find the solutions to achieve your goals. As we reflect on the recent VE Day celebrations, we can learn a lot about the resolution of conflict.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
