Emotional cheating – especially if you've been deceived into a relationship – can feel just as devastating as a physical affair. But is it also a form of deception – or even a scam? Here's what it means under the rule of law, and how you can protect yourself.
Can you define what constitutes a love scam from a legal perspective?
Typically, the term "love scam" refers to a scammer using a fake identity (via an online platform) to befriend victims and deceive them into making payments or transferring monies to the scammer. This is in line with the definition of "internet love scams" found on the Singapore Police Force's website. These love scams generally involve some form of loss, via a transfer of money or property.
Emotionally cheating someone, or being unfaithful, is not a legal wrong but a moral one. Any legal claims will still have to be framed under a well-established course of action such as negligence, nuisance, breach of contract etc.
If financial loss is involved, what legal actions can victims take to recover their money?
There can be legal recourse if financial fraud is involved, such as in cases where the victims have transferred monies or provided OTPs which led to the unauthorised withdrawal of monies from their personal accounts. Victims in such cases should immediately file police reports, and also evaluate whether civil action is necessary.
There are also cases where the victims may not have suffered financial loss, but losses may have been occasioned to third parties. This would be in cases where the scammers managed to gain control of the victim's bank accounts and used them to funnel their proceeds of crime from elsewhere through the victim's bank accounts. The victims in such cases may also find themselves under investigation for money-laundering offences.
What legal options do victims of emotional love scams have if they have been deceived but not financially defrauded?
If the "scam" simply related to lying about one's relationship status in order to go on a date with someone else, it is difficult to obtain legal recourse for this type of conduct.
However, if the victim had been duped into sexual activities as a result of certain representations made by the perpetrator, the perpetrator could face prosecution (examples of potential charges include: cheating, criminal intimidation, distributing or threatening to distribute intimate images or recordings).
In the case of Wong Yian Jun De Beers v PP, the offender posed as a fake sugar daddy agent, who obtained free sex and intimate recordings from his victims on the pre-text of recommending sugar-daddies to them.
He subsequently threatened to leak the recordings if they did not engage in more sexual activities with him. For all his offences, he was sentenced to a total of eight years and five months' imprisonment, with a fine of $20,000.
Can emotional distress or psychological harm caused by love scams be grounds for a lawsuit?
This might be possible depending on the severity of the situation, although it might be difficult to prove causation, or to quantify the harm.
Are there any precedents where victims of love scams have successfully pursued legal action?
In cases where the victims' monies have been transferred overseas, recovery efforts in such cases are very difficult. The police do not automatically engage with their international counterparts for all cases. Such action is usually reserved for the more serious cases. For civil action, locating the individual and serving court documents on them can prove challenging.
Even after this is done, the scammer may be unwilling to take part in the process and may simply choose to ignore the Singapore proceedings. Enforcement of any successful judgments would also be challenging, especially if details of the scammer's assets are unknown.
Furthermore, the "owner" of the overseas bank account may turn out to be another scam victim as well, and the scammer may have already physically withdrawn the monies from the bank account, in which case going down the legal route would be a waste of time and money.
In any event, these proceedings tend to be very costly, so unless the sums cheated were significant, and the identity and assets of the actual scammer can be ascertained, it would usually not make financial sense to commence legal action.
What evidence is required to take legal action against a scammer?
This would be a fact-specific inquiry which will differ from case to case. In general, one should be able to identify the scammer, provide evidence of the loss/damage caused (or how it can be quantified if it is a non-monetary loss), as well as evidence showing how the scammer caused that loss/damage. The victim should then consult with a lawyer to assess the chances of recovery.
What advice would you give to potential victims to protect themselves from legal and financial harm?
I would be suspicious of any new friend or acquaintance who asks for monies, requests access to personal information or solicits for any sexual content or activities – especially where parties have not physically met up with each other and where the opposite party's identity has not been properly verified.
If in doubt, checking in with a close friend or a third party can also provide clarity on the situation. Singapore has also recently set up a new anti-scam hotline called "ScamShield". Any member of the public can call "1799" to check if something is a scam.
Originally published by Her World's legal advice column, 9 May 2025
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
