They say a parent never has a favorite child—but let's be honest... you probably do. You know the one: responsible, calm under pressure, didn't "accidentally" set the garage on fire at age twelve. So why not just pick the kid who always ends up leading the group project anyway?
Yet many parents can't bring themselves to choose. So, in the name of fairness, they decide to name all their children as co-personal representatives. On paper, it feels diplomatic. In practice, you've just assigned a group project from beyond the grave. And we all know how group projects go: one person does all the work, one disappears until the last minute, and one contributes nothing but still insists on getting equal credit.
Probate is not the time to run a social experiment in sibling cooperation. When you name multiple PRs, you're not simplifying anything. You're complicating everything.
Let's talk about why co-PRs often cause more harm than harmony.
They Don't Always Agree
Spoiler alert: siblings don't always see eye to eye. Especially when grief, money, and stress are involved.
One wants to sell the house. One wants to keep it. One is "doing their own research on YouTube." And everything that requires joint action—signing papers, accessing accounts, hiring professionals—now needs multiple approvals. That "streamlined process" just became a committee meeting.
It Can Cost the Estate More
More people = more paperwork. More calls. More emails. More time. More billable hours if attorneys are involved (hi there!). That means your well-meaning attempt to avoid hurt feelings might actually drain more money from your estate.
Also, if there's a disagreement? Boom—court involvement. Now you've got legal fees and holiday gathering awkwardness for the next decade.
It Slows Everything Down
Every decision has to be unanimous or at least coordinated, and that means delays. Even if your kids aren't feuding, life gets busy. Someone's on vacation. Someone's unreachable. Someone's just a slow texter. Meanwhile, your estate sits in limbo while the bills—and the family tension—pile up.
The Bottom Line
Choosing one personal representative isn't playing favorites—it's making a smart decision for your family and your estate. Just choose the most organized, level-headed, emotionally responsible one to be your PR. Name backups, sure—but only one person should be in the driver's seat at a time.
Probate is already enough of a process; don't make it a group project.
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