Understanding Reunification Therapy - Healing Parent-Child Relationships After Separation

Reunification therapy is a specialized form of family therapy designed to help repair and rebuild the relationship between a child and a parent after a period of estrangement. This situation often arises in the aftermath of a difficult separation or divorce, where the child may begin avoiding or completely cutting off contact with one parent. The reasons for this breakdown in the parent-child relationship can vary, from high-conflict custody disputes and miscommunication to instances where one parent intentionally or unintentionally influences the child against the other.

Regardless of the cause, prolonged disconnection from a parent due to adult conflict can be deeply harmful to a child's emotional well-being. Reunification therapy focuses on restoring the parent-child bond in a structured and healthy manner, always with the child's best interests at heart. Importantly, it helps children understand that they do not have to choose sides—they can love and have relationships with both parents, so long as those relationships promote their safety, stability, and emotional health.

Goals of Reunification Therapy

Reunification therapy typically encompasses several objectives, tailored to the needs of the child/family. These include:

1. Restoring Contact: Reestablishing or facilitating communication and time spent between the child and the estranged parent.
2. Resolving Conflicts: Helping resolve underlying parent-child conflicts that may have contributed to the breakdown.
3. Promoting Healthy Adjustment: Supporting the child in adjusting to family changes in a constructive way.
4. Improving Parenting Skills: Assisting parents in developing effective parenting and co-parenting skills.
5. Enhancing Communication: Teaching families how to communicate openly and solve problems together.
6. Understanding the Child's Needs: Helping parents recognize their child's need for a stable relationship with both parents and the consequences of a fractured bond.
7. Clarifying Roles and Boundaries: Encouraging more appropriate parent-child and parent-parent dynamics.
8. Correcting Misconceptions: Addressing and correcting any distorted views or misperceptions the child may have about a parent.
9. Fostering Autonomy: Encouraging age-appropriate independence in the child.
10. Differentiating Concerns: Helping parents distinguish between valid concerns and negative generalizations about the other parent.

Court-Ordered Reunification Therapy

In some cases, reunification therapy may be ordered by a court, particularly when the child's relationship with one parent has been severely damaged or severed. However, courts do not issue these orders lightly. Several factors are taken into consideration before a reunification or reconciliation therapy order is made:

1. Timing: Whether the request is made at an early stage in proceedings or after a full trial.
2. Cause of Estrangement: Whether the source of the parent-child breakdown (e.g., alienation, alignment, or justified estrangement) is clearly established.
3. Evidence of Benefit: Whether there is compelling evidence that therapy will be beneficial for the child.
4. Therapy Proposal: The presence of a detailed plan, including the therapist's identity and scope of therapy.
5. Willingness to Participate: Whether the parents and child are likely to engage in the therapy process, even if initially reluctant.
6. Willingness to Participate: Whether the parents and child are likely to engage in the therapy process, even if initially reluctant.
7. Pending Assessments: Courts generally wait for ongoing clinical investigations or assessments to be completed before issuing therapy orders.
8. Oversight: Courts may direct the therapist to provide a report on progress, wherever practical.

The Court has the jurisdiction to order therapeutic parenting orders under the Divorce Act ss.16.1(1)  and ss.16.1(5) and the Children's Law Reform Act ss.28(1(a-c)). The court has power to, when making parenting orders and contact orders, order the "manner" of contact between parents and their children. As upheld in the Ontario Court of Appeal decision in A.M. v. C.H., 2019 ONCA 764 (CanLII), this jurisdiction includes the authority to order therapeutic parenting, such as reunification therapy.

Incorporating Reunification Therapy in Agreements

Reunification therapy can also be included as a term in a Separation Agreement. This proactive approach ensures that both parents remain engaged in their child's life, regardless of the challenges of their separation. By embedding the therapy requirement into a legal agreement, parents commit to preserving the child's emotional connection to both parties.

Ultimately, reunification therapy is about protecting the long-term emotional and psychological well-being of the child. It provides an opportunity for healing, helping children regain trust and connection with both parents, and shielding them from the damaging effects of unresolved conflict or estrangement. In cases where appropriate, courts may order the entire family—individually and together—to participate in reunification or reintegration therapy. This can involve parent coaching, co-parenting education, and other therapeutic interventions aimed at restoring a healthy family dynamic and ensuring compliance with court-ordered parenting arrangements.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.