ARTICLE
20 May 2023

What does playing the victim do?

JF
Justice Family Lawyers

Contributor

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When someone plays the victim, they act like they are constantly hurt or mistreated.
Australia Criminal Law

What Does Playing The Victim Do: 4 Key Connections to Cycle of Abuse

What does playing the victim do?

Playing the victim is often linked to having a victim complex or a victim mindset.

When someone plays the victim, they act like they are constantly hurt or mistreated.

What Does Playing The Victim Do, and What Are The Behaviours Exhibited by Those Playing the Victim?

What does playing the victim do, and what are the behaviours exhibited by those playing the victim?

Manipulation: People who play the victim often use the fact that they think they are victims to get others to feel guilty or take responsibility for their problems. In this way, they get attention, pity, or favour.

Avoidance of responsibility: People who play the victim tend to blame others or external events for their problems instead of taking responsibility for their actions or choices.

Emotional control: By thinking like a victim, a person can use guilt, self-pity, or anger to control the emotions of those around them and make them do what they want.

What are the Negative Impacts of Playing a Victim?

What does playing the victim do, and what are the negative impacts of plating one?

Hindered personal growth: When someone acts like a victim, they may stop growing as people because they rely on the sympathy and help of others instead of taking steps to improve their position.

Destructive relationships: Playing the victim can be hard on personal and business relationships because people may get tired of the constant negativity, blame, and manipulation.

Lower self-esteem: Having a victim mindset can make you feel even more helpless, powerless, and like you're not worth much, which can keep you in a cycle of being a victim.

Emotional dependency: Playing the victim can make a person feel emotionally dependent on others since they count on the sympathy and support of those around them to validate their experiences and feelings. This can lead to unhealthy relationship patterns and make it harder to build mental strength.

Reduced problem-solving skills: By having a victim mentality, a person may feel like they have no control over their problems and be less likely to actively look for answers or do things to help them solve the issue.

Increased stress and anxiety: Feeling like a victim all the time can make a person feel more stressed and anxious because they may feel that they can't do anything to change their situation or make it better.

Reinforcement of negative thought patterns: Playing the victim can make you think and feel bad about yourself, others, and the world. These patterns can become very strong, making it hard for the person to break out of the loop of being a victim and take on a more assertive attitude.

Can Someone Playing a Victim Become More Abusive Over Time?

Yes, someone who always plays the victim could get worse over time.

As they keep playing the victim, they may depend more and more on manipulation, making others feel guilty, or emotional control to get attention, sympathy, or help from other people.

This can make them act and talk to each other in dangerous ways over and over again.

Over time, these deceptive and controlling behaviours can worsen and become more abusive, hurting the people involved in many ways.

To keep their sense of power and control, the person playing the victim may use emotional or verbal abuse, always blame others for their issues, or put others down.

It is important to notice these patterns early on to stop the situation from worsening and deal with the victim mindset.

Encourage the person to get professional help, like therapy or counselling, to deal with their victim mindset and learn healthier ways to deal with problems.

What Is The Connection Between Someone Playing A Victim And Domestic Violence?

What does playing the victim do, and how is it related to domestic violence?

There may be a link between someone who plays the victim and domestic violence, but it's important to remember that not everyone with a victim mindset will hurt their partner.

But aspects of the victim mindset can lead to, or make, domestic violence worse. Some possible links include:

Manipulation and control: People who play the victim may use the fact that they think they are victims to mentally control and manipulate their partners. This can include using guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or gaslighting to keep power and control in the relationship, which can be a form of emotional abuse.

Justification for abusive behaviour: People who have a victim mentality may excuse their offensive actions by saying that they are the ones who were hurt. They may explain what they did by saying their partner provoked them, so they had no choice but to defend themselves or get even.

Escalation of conflict: People who play the victim may find it hard to solve problems healthily. They might be too guarded, not want to take responsibility for their actions, or be unable to find a middle ground. This can make problems worse and even lead to fights.

A cycle of abuse: Some people who have been abused may create a victim mentality as a way to cope or because they haven't dealt with their trauma. Then, they might hurt other people in their relationships and keep the circle of abuse going.

Emotional dependency: When someone plays the victim, they may become too emotionally dependent on their partner, looking to them for support, approval, and sympathy. This can make the relationship feel unbalanced and lead to demanding or abusive behaviour.

Summary

Playing the victim involves adopting a mindset that consistently perceives oneself as a victim, resulting in manipulative and controlling behaviours.

This can hinder personal growth, damage relationships, lower self-esteem, increase emotional dependency, reduce problem-solving skills, and reinforce negative thought patterns.

Over time, someone playing the victim may become more abusive.

What does playing the victim do in connection with domestic violence? As victim mentality can contribute to manipulation, control, justification for abusive behaviour, escalation of conflicts, the perpetuation of the cycle of abuse, and emotional dependency in relationships.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

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