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19 December 2025

How To Successfully Pass On Heirlooms

BW
Bohm, Wildish & Madsen

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Identify What Counts as an Heirloom...
United States Family and Matrimonial
James G. Bohm’s articles from Bohm, Wildish & Madsen are most popular:
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1 Identify What Counts as an Heirloom

Make a list of items that have:

  • Emotional value (letters, photos, jewelry)
  • Historical value (antiques, military items, documents)
  • Financial value (art, collectibles)
  • Family identity value (recipes, traditions, tools)

This helps you stay organized and prevents misunderstandings later.

2 Document the Story Behind Each Item

Heirlooms lose meaning when the story disappears.

Include:

  • Who owned it originally
  • Why it matters
  • Any traditions tied to it
  • The item's age, maker, or origin
  • Photos if helpful

You can write these in:

  • A small note attached to the item
  • A family “heritage binder”
  • A digital file or email

The story is what makes a simple object priceless.

3 Talk to Your Family Early

The #1 cause of heirloom disputes is surprise.

Have open conversations:

  • Ask who wants what
  • Ask why they want it
  • Explain your intentions
  • Make sure everyone feels heard

Sometimes you'll be surprised which items mean the most to different people.

4 Put Your Decisions in Writing

Verbal wishes often get lost.

Use:

  • Your will
  • living trust
  • A separate memorandum of personal property (many states recognize this)
  • A clearly labeled inventory sheet

Be specific:

  • “To my daughter Emma, I leave my mother's diamond ring.”
  • Not “my jewelry,” which can cause confusion.

5 Give Items While You're Still Alive (Optional but VERY helpful)

This reduces conflict and lets you enjoy seeing the heirloom appreciated.

Great for things like:

  • Jewelry
  • Furniture
  • Tools
  • Photos
  • Traditions or recipes

It also ensures the new owner knows the story directly from you.

6 Choose the Right Recipient

Consider:

  • Who loves the item
  • Who will care for it
  • Who is emotionally connected to it
  • Whether anyone has already expressed interest

If siblings fight, you can:

  • Rotate choices
  • Use a “draft pick” system
  • Arrange equal-value distributions

7 Protect the Heirlooms

Some heirlooms need care before passing them on:

  • Jewelry: clean and appraise
  • Photos: scan and digitize
  • Documents: protect in acid-free folders
  • Furniture: repair or stabilize
  • Collectibles: insure

A little prep makes sure the heirloom survives for the next generation.

8 Include Instructions for Care

If an item needs special treatment:

  • Tell them how to store it
  • How often to clean it
  • What to avoid
  • Who to contact for maintenance

This helps the heirloom last for decades.

9 Consider Dividing by Theme

If you want fairness:

  • One child gets kitchen/recipe items
  • One gets military history items
  • One gets jewelry
  • One gets holiday or tradition items

This helps balance sentimental value even if financial values differ.

10 Reassess Every Few Years

Life changes: marriages, grandchildren, divorces, shifting interests.

Once every 2–4 years:

  • Update your list
  • Reconfirm recipients
  • Add new heirlooms

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

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