'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the
house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...
the children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of
THEIR PARENTS FIGHTING ABOUT CHRISTMAS danced in their
heads.
It doesn't make for much of a yuletide poem, does it?
If you're part of a separated family, have you started thinking about the care arrangements for your children over the Christmas period? Preparing early can help ensure the holiday season is joyful and free from disruption.
While the formal deadline for filing Court applications to secure holiday parenting arrangements has now passed, we hope that many families have already started planning these arrangements. However, if you're still facing difficulties, our family law team is here to help you navigate negotiations with your former spouse. In urgent situations, the Court may still list matters if there is a real urgency to the situation, particularly where there may be a risk of harm to the child or caregiver. Harm can include physical, emotional, financial, psychological, or social risks.
Family Law Associate Mia Chenoweth has put together a Christmas checklist to help you manage this busy time of year with minimal stress.
Where is Santa visiting?
First and foremost, have you reached an agreement with your former spouse about the Christmas holidays? Here are some key points to discuss:
- Will you be sharing the children on Christmas Day?
- If so, what time is handover and where?
- If you alternate Christmas each year, who will have the children this year?
- How do these arrangements fit in with other family members' plans?
- What are the care arrangements for the rest of the holiday period?
- Are there any agreed-upon plans for interstate or overseas trips?
Starting this conversation early can allow you to work through any disagreements and reach an understanding. We recommend starting negotiations about three months before Christmas to allow time for both planning and making necessary adjustments.
Setting these arrangements early can also help the children adjust to the upcoming routine, easing any holiday stress for them. Remember, while negotiating, you may need to make reasonable concessions with your former spouse to reach an amicable agreement.
What if negotiations aren't overly 'joyful'?
If discussions with your former spouse aren't progressing, mediation or Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) may be helpful. Community-based or private options are available, though wait times for community mediation may be longer during this period.
You can also seek advice from a Family Lawyer, who can assist in negotiations or work directly with your former spouse's lawyer on your behalf.
What are the elves making?
Since your children may receive gifts from both households, it might be worth agreeing with your former spouse on gift-giving guidelines. This could involve setting price limits or agreeing on a certain number of presents per child.
It's also wise to budget for gifts, especially if this is your first Christmas relying on a single income.
Hark! We've reached an agreement! What now?
Documenting your agreement in writing is highly advisable. This could be as simple as a note, email, or text message to your former spouse outlining the terms.
If you've worked with a lawyer or through mediation, you can formalize your agreement in a Parenting Plan. This document sets out your agreed-upon terms, dated and signed by both parties, and while not legally binding, it can encourage accountability and provide a reference in future discussions or court proceedings if necessary.
Another option is to apply for a Consent Order through the Court, which legally binds the agreement and provides enforceability options should either party breach the terms.
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas"
Above all, the children's best interests should be at the heart of every holiday arrangement. Ensuring they have a joyful, stress-free Christmas is a wonderful gift.
And remember to look after your own well-being too. Plan something you enjoy if you'll be without the children this Christmas—spend the day with loved ones, relax at the beach, or treat yourself to something special. Having a plan for celebrating with the children when they return can also keep the holiday spirit alive.
The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.
