Research published in 2011 by prominent Brisbane-based suicide researchers1 showed what many family law clients and practitioners have suspected for a long time - those going through separation run a higher risk of mental illness and suicide.

Eminent Brisbane psychiatrist Associate Professor Frank Varghese says "the distinction between delusional ideas and non-delusional ideas, and indeed between hallucinations, illusions and normal perception begin to disintegrate in the face of the powerful psychodynamic forces unleashed when a relationship breaks up and particularly when children are involved".2

Research into mental health following marital breakdown in Australia

The research conducted in 2011 focused on determining whether there is a direct link between marital breakdown, shame and suicidally in men. The researchers chose to focus on men, as the rates of suicide are four times higher for men than women in Australia.3 The study surveyed men and women who had separated from their spouse in the last 18 months, and married and single men. The research showed that the 'suicide score' during separation was significantly higher among separated males compared to separated women, and single and married men, and that there was a higher rate of mental health problems in separated men and women than single and married men.

Given the higher rates of mental health issues and suicide following separation, it is important that family lawyers encourage their clients to seek help from experts such as counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists, and to talk to trusted family members and friends about what they are going through. We understand that for some people it can be difficult to seek professional help. However, given the potential mental and physical health risks, it is vital that help is sought where needed and that early intervention takes place.

Tips for those going through a separation

If you are going through a separation or you know someone who is, the following advice4, coupled with our experience, may assist:

  • Give yourself a break: Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. The breakdown of a relationship is a significant life-altering event and can trigger emotions not experienced previously. It's important to take time out, nurture yourself, get into a routine, exercise, and eat and sleep well, but avoid using alcohol, drugs or food to cope.
  • Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship: Do not suppress feelings of resentment, sadness, fear and confusion, as it will only prolong the grieving process.
  • Know the difference between a normal reaction to separation and more serious issues: Grief can be paralysing after separation, but day-by-day the sadness should begin to lift. However, if you do not feel any forward momentum, you should seek professional help. Experience suggests that it takes about two years to fully get though a separation. Because it is an emotional rollercoaster, some days you will feel wonderful, while other days you will feel dreadful. This is a normal process. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it takes time.
  • Do not go through it alone: Isolation can raise stress levels and reduce concentration. It is important to spend time and share your feelings with friends and family. Seek out professional help. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet. There are also a number of free counselling services available such as Lifeline (131 114], the Salvation Army (13 72 58] and Mensline (1300 789 978].

Footnotes

1 Kolves, K., Ide, N. and De Leo, D. "Marital Breakdown, Shame, and Suicidally in Men: A Direct Link?". Suicide and Life-Threatening Behaviour 41(2] April 201 1, 149 - 159
2 Varghese, F. "Psychiatry and the Family Court - a modified psychodynamic approach."
3 Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2007
4 Segal, J., Kemp, G. and Smith, M. (2012] "Coping with a Breakup or Divorce: Moving on After a Relationship Ends." http://helpguide.org

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The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.