ARTICLE
19 January 2025

What is Financial Infidelity?

U
Unified Lawyers

Contributor

Unified Lawyers, a top-rated family law firm in Australia, has expanded its presence with offices in Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane. Specialising in divorce, child custody, property settlement, and financial agreements, they have been recognised as one of Australia's best family lawyers. Their team, including Accredited Family Law Specialists, is committed to providing high-quality legal advice and representation at affordable rates. Acknowledging the stress of family breakdowns, they offer free consultations for personalised guidance. With over 450 5-Star Google reviews, Unified Lawyers ensures exceptional service. Available 24/7, they are ready to assist in family law matters across Australia.
Financial infidelity happens when one partner hides financial details or makes decisions in secret that affect both people.
Australia Family and Matrimonial

Relationships thrive on trust and that includes being upfront about money.

Financial infidelity happens when one partner hides financial details or makes decisions in secret that affect both people. It's not always about big scandals or hidden fortunes; sometimes, it's as simple as stashing away a secret credit card or not mentioning a significant debt.

For many couples, money is a sensitive subject, and financial secrets can create cracks in even the strongest relationships. Over time, these cracks can lead to serious financial and emotional challenges, including family law disputes or even divorce.

In this article, we'll unpack what financial infidelity in marriage and relationships looks like, why it happens, and how it can impact your relationship. Whether you're here because you've experienced financial infidelity or you're just curious about the topic, we're here to provide some more information for you.

Financial infidelity examples

Financial infidelity can take many forms, ranging from subtle financial secrets to larger acts of deception. Some common examples include:

  • Secret credit cards or savings accounts: Keeping bank accounts hidden from a partner or stashing away money without telling them.
  • Hidden debt: Taking out loans or accumulating credit card balances without disclosing them.
  • Undisclosed spending habits: Making large purchases or frequently spending money without letting the other partner know.
  • Financial deception in property matters: Hiding assets or undervaluing income during property settlements or financial discussions.
  • Gambling or financial misuse: Using joint funds for personal gambling or other risky behaviours without consent.

These behaviours often harm trust in the relationship, especially when one partner feels blindsided or excluded from financial decisions. While not every financial decision needs to involve both partners, significant financial actions or recurring secrecy can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even legal implications.

Signs of financial infidelity

It's not always easy to spot financial infidelity, but there are often warning signs that something isn't quite right. If you're concerned, keep an eye out for the following:

  • Unusual secrecy: Your partner avoids discussing finances, refuses to share account details, or changes the subject when money comes up.
  • Unexplained spending: You notice large purchases, unfamiliar credit card charges, or withdrawals that don't add up.
  • Changes in behaviour: They may become defensive, avoid checking the mail together, or insist on handling all financial matters solo.
  • Hidden accounts or credit cards: Discovering a bank account, secret savings account, or credit card you didn't know about is a major red flag.
  • Significant debts: Finding out about hidden debt, like loans or credit card balances, can indicate a pattern of financial dishonesty.

While these signs don't automatically mean your partner is committing financial infidelity, they might suggest the need for an open and honest conversation about your finances. In many cases, identifying the issue early can help couples get back on the same page before trust is irreparably harmed.

Is financial infidelity a crime in Australia?

Financial infidelity on its own isn't considered a crime in Australia. However, it can have serious legal implications, especially in the context of family law. For example, hiding assets, significant debts, or other financial information during property settlements or divorce proceedings is considered a form of non-disclosure—and that can land you in hot water legally.

In cases where financial infidelity overlaps with other unlawful behaviour, such as financial abuse, fraud, or gambling addiction funded by joint accounts, legal action may be warranted. For married couples or those in de facto relationships, financial dishonesty can play a significant role in how the Family Court approaches property division and financial disputes.

While financial infidelity isn't a criminal offence, the legal consequences can be far-reaching and it can be a top reasons for divorce in Australia. Ensuring full and frank disclosure of your financial situation is essential during legal proceedings to avoid penalties or delays.

Consequences of financial infidelity

The fallout from financial infidelity can extend far beyond just the numbers you're seeing in your bank account. When trust is broken, it can have a lasting impact on both the emotional and financial stability of a relationship. Here are some of the keyways financial infidelity can affect couples:

Harm to the relationship

Financial infidelity can shake the foundation of trust in a relationship. Discovering that a partner has been hiding debts, secret credit cards, or other financial secrets often leaves the other person feeling betrayed and uncertain about what else might be hidden. Money is a cause of stress to most people, so combining this with financial infidelity, over time, this betrayal can lead to unresolved anger, resentment, and a breakdown in communication, making it difficult for couples to maintain a healthy connection.

Impact on financial stability

Hidden financial behaviour can derail a couple's financial goals. For example, secret spending or undisclosed debts can strain the family's resources, leaving less money available for shared priorities like saving for a home, funding children's education, or planning for retirement. Financial infidelity can create a ripple effect that takes years to recover from, especially if significant debts have been accumulated.

Legal complications

Financial infidelity often comes to light during divorce or property settlement proceedings. If one partner fails to disclose assets, debts, or income, it can lead to serious legal consequences, including penalties for non-disclosure. For couples navigating family law disputes in Australia, full and honest financial disclosure is a legal requirement, and failure to meet this obligation can significantly impact the final settlement.

Emotional toll

The emotional fallout of financial infidelity can be just as damaging as the financial impact. For the person who discovers the deception, feelings of shame, anger, and insecurity are common. On the other hand, the partner committing financial infidelity may experience guilt and fear of losing the relationship. These emotions often create barriers to resolving the issue and rebuilding trust.

For many couples, financial infidelity is a wake-up call that requires open communication, professional support, and sometimes legal intervention to rebuild trust and find a path forward.

How to prevent financial infidelity

Preventing financial infidelity starts with open communication and a shared commitment to transparency. By creating a solid foundation for managing money together, couples can avoid misunderstandings and build trust in their financial decisions. Here are some practical steps to take:

Set clear financial goals together

Discuss your short-term and long-term financial objectives as a team. Whether it's saving for a holiday, buying a home, or planning for retirement, having shared goals ensures both partners are working towards the same future. This makes it easier to hold each other accountable and stay on the same page.

Maintain transparency with accounts and spending

Consider using joint bank accounts for shared expenses and be upfront about individual spending habits. While it's perfectly fine to have personal accounts and an element of financial independence, the key is to communicate openly about what's being spent and saved. Transparency helps eliminate room for financial secrets to take hold.

Schedule regular money check-ins

Set aside time to review your finances together. These check-ins can include looking at account balances, reviewing bills, and discussing upcoming expenses. Regular conversations about money help keep both partners informed and reduce the risk of hidden financial behaviour.

Seek professional advice if needed

If managing finances as a couple feels overwhelming, don't hesitate to consult a financial planner or family lawyer. Professional guidance can help establish clear boundaries and agreements that work for both partners, making financial infidelity less likely to occur.

What to do if you discover financial infidelity

Discovering financial infidelity can feel like a major breach of trust, but it's important to approach the situation calmly and with a plan. Taking thoughtful steps can help you address the issue effectively and decide the best way forward for your relationship.

Step 1: Start with an open conversation

Begin by discussing your concerns with your partner. Focus on understanding why the financial infidelity occurred rather than immediately placing blame. This can provide insight into the underlying issues—whether it's fear, shame, or a lack of financial education—that led to the behaviour.

Step 2: Review your financial situation together

Take stock of the current state of your finances, including any hidden debts, secret accounts, or undisclosed spending. Knowing exactly where you stand can help you both move forward with greater clarity and control.

Step 3: Set boundaries and expectations

If you plan to rebuild trust, it's essential to set clear boundaries and financial goals. This might include agreeing to more transparency, scheduling regular money check-ins, or using joint accounts for shared expenses. Establishing mutual accountability is key.

Step 4: Seek professional help if needed

Sometimes, the damage caused by financial infidelity requires outside support. A financial planner can help you create a plan to address debts or manage finances effectively, while a family lawyer can provide guidance if the situation has legal implications or leads to discussions about separation or divorce.

Step 5: Decide on your next steps

Not every relationship survives financial infidelity, and that's okay. Whether you choose to work through the issue or part ways, it's important to make a decision that feels right for your emotional and financial well-being.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

Mondaq uses cookies on this website. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies as set out in our Privacy Policy.

Learn More