It's that time of year, again. The season of fun, frenzy, and the ever-festive office holiday party. In that spirit, we devote today's blog entry into a discussion of how to keep your "fa la la la la" from becoming more of an "ooh la la?"
The Easy Stuff
Start with the obvious - alcohol. Many companies serve it, but just as you wouldn't (or shouldn't) swallow the entire cold-boiled shrimp array, go easy on the alcohol. And, just in case you are feeling particularly merry, "No, Virginia, a holiday party is not the time to pound back tequila shots." It is still a work-related event, no matter how much sparkle and holly decorate the room. Companies always want "professionalism" and "good judgment" from their employees, even at the holiday party. Ignoring this simple edict can, at worst, cost you your job and, at best, make you the butt of office jokes for holidays to come.
Also obvious - dress. Holiday parties often invite attire that is more festive than the everyday office setting permits. You've heard it before, but its true -- a good rule of thumb is to follow senior management's lead, meaning know your audience. Even if your senior VP is a Ms. Hathaway-in-training, with her navy wool knee-length skirt suit, sensible pumps and Santa earrings, just go with it. Really, go with it. Perhaps you spice things up with a red blouse or skirt, but if Ms. Hathaway doesn't sport skirts 3 inches below the butt, keep your fabulous legs to yourself if you want to advance to VP (or to work with anyone at that level). And, while your lame' halter and Santa Baby thong peeking out of your shiny black leathers would rock the club, do you really see Ms. Hathaway rocking anything?
If my admonition about visible thongs implies that undergarments aren't advisable, know that underwear can, in fact, be your friend. I can think of too many holiday parties with late-night dancing where a skirt rode up or someone fell while going as "low they could go," showing coworkers just why the dancing queen avoided the dreaded VPL a/k/a visible panty lines. While the paparazzi might be rewarded for a flash of a young starlet's "Britney," rarely are such kudos given at work.
The Not-So-Easy Stuff
I know it doesn't sound like fun, but an office party is a work-event. Ideally it should be one of the more enjoyable times you've spent at work, but it is still work.
Your momma always told you to say please and thank you. Do so. Take a moment to thank senior management for hosting the party (preferably before you have had so much to drink that you also tell the senior manager just how "hawt" you think he is...). Trust me, this has happened.
To repeat myself, the office holiday party is not a club, even if it is held at a club. Tricky, I know, but true. If you go to a club, you are not obligated to visit with the people at the next table. However, at the office party, you are expected (and in fact, encouraged) to visit with coworkers. Certainly if you are seated at a table with coworkers, you should politely make small talk. And lest I not be clear, make the small talk with the people at the table, as you mingle, at the bar, and in the food line, in other words, those actually at the party, not those great friends who you want to text about how lame the party is since you are not getting schnockered. You can do that (text, not get schnockered) - just save it for the corridor outside the party, the bathroom, or the ride home with your designated driver.
However, just in case you don't remember from your manners class in junior high, small talk is defined as "casual, trivial conversation for social occasions." Practice beforehand, if need be. This is not the time to demonstrate your budding career as a comedian by mentioning that a coworker's spouse is in Iraq, but due home soon for a "conjugal visit." Yes, Virginia, these things are said by presumably well-meaning individuals, but you don't want everyone looking around thinking, "Awkward!" Nor is it the time to tell a coworker that you think anyone with his politics is a raving lunatic without an ounce of common sense. You can think it, but you can't say it. This is another reason to moderate your intake of alcohol.
In a similar vein, unless your boss (or her boss) has asked you to come to the party and spend the entire time cornering coworkers to talk about the latest widget run at the company factory, this is a time for small talk (see definition above), not detailed work talk that would make the most patient spouse or significant other long to pull out his cell phone and start texting.
The Funny Stuff
Assuming you've heeded my advice and been the polite, delightful party guest attired conservatively and drinking judiciously, there is still one last bit of advice. Be aware of your surroundings, don't monopolize on any one partygoer's time and always be careful how you pose for photos.
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