You have heard it a thousand times before "Words once
spoken can never be recalled."
When relationships come to an end, both parties often race to
find a lawyer and stake their claim. I highly recommend caution in
In my experience it may do more harm than good to shoot off a
letter from a lawyer too early. No matter how "gentle"
the approach, it's still a lawyer's letter and will rarely
be read with any of the tenderness you may have intended.
Equally, a threatening letter may be similarly ineffective in
achieving results. These types of letters often get your matter off
on the "wrong foot" and instead of resolving your issues
it ends up costing you a lot of money and time as well as create
I advise my clients to prepare for war but hope for peace. In
preparing for war they are well prepared for what lies ahead but
the trick comes in the hoping for peace. I encourage my clients to
demonstrate that desire for peace in their actions – so talk
the talk and walk the walk. At the end of the day going to court
has its place but the most satisfied clients are those who are able
to avoid court and negotiate a resolution.
It's all in the way you set it up and in the timing of what
you do. Consult with a family lawyer who will empower you with
knowledge and who will offer you strategies and options so you can
select what will be best for your family.
In this situation the timing always seems unfair. During one of
the most emotional and stressful times of your life you find
yourself having to make big decisions with long term impacts while
you may not feel emotionally strong or be thinking logically.
My clients and I always agree, their world has just been turned
upside down whether it was their decision to call it a day or
Everyone needs time to adjust to their new realities. Breathe
calmly before jumping to conclusions and diving in hard. Rethink
and perhaps agree to take it slow and leave things much the same as
they are so that you can both try and find a solution when you are
in a better head space. Just give each other some breathing
YOUR NEXT STEPS
Always remember it is not easy to backtrack once you have rocked
someone's world. Get practical and honest advice which is
aligned to and assists you to identify your needs and values. In
this way, you will be able to come out the other end of a
divorce/relationship breakdown with your dignity and family as in
tact as possible with arrangements aligned to your needs and
Getting to the end of a divorce with an empty tank (emotionally
and financially) it not ideal. There usually is a better way; all
you need is an overview of your options. Finding a family lawyer
who is able to help you navigate your way to pick the solutions
that work best for you and your family will help you to move
through this uncertain period of your life with greater clarity,
renewed energy and excitement about the future that lies ahead.
Sect.117 can deal with false statements and knowingly making false allegations of violence could justify a costs order.
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